Sunday, August 23, 2015

Medication

I've never had a type I've always managed to date different type of guys. Although recently it seems to be they all have a love of cars in common but besides that none or them resemble each other.  I started to a date a guy whom I thought would only be a one time thing. I was wrong. He turned out to be something I had been wanting for a while. He is sure of himself, driven and those first few dates the most sweet and respectful person I have ever dated. He is older than I but that's never bothered me. There's something about him that I just can't get enough of. As usual though I tend to go to fast and things began to get strange. Hut two weeks after all of this things started to change.  He became distant and at time uninterested in me. Finally he had said that we were just friends. I was crushed. Only he told me that he's been on medication for his anxiety, OCD and ADD. That his emotions and thoughts have been out if wack for a while now and that one moment he wants more the next he doesn't.  All he has asked of me is to be there when he needs me but now I'm wondering if I can be there when he needs me. I'm confused and unsure and trying to figure this out is close to impossible. I have fallen hard and as usual I want what I can't have. So I wonder do I wait around for him to want me and put up with the possibility that once every thing is back to normal he may not actually want me or do I just walk away. He once said that he saw fear in my eyes because I was afraid he'd hurt me but that isn't the case. I'm not afraid of getting hurt I'm afraid of not being able to make him happy or be what he needs. I'm afraid I may not be good enough.